Diddy do it? Why so many survivors are avoiding the Diddy trial
*CW: This blog contains discussions of physical and sexual violence, but does not include graphic details.
With Weinstein’s retrial and Diddy’s long-awaited federal trial both ramping up, just as Sexual Assault Awarness Month was winding down, we wanted to check in on our community. So, on Instagram, we asked survivors who follow us, “How are you feeling about the Diddy trial?”
We were initially surprised by their responses…and then – immediately not.
Paying close attention to trials of high profile (and serial) perpetrators can be incredibly painful and retraumatizing for survivors. And, for many, the Diddy case was where they had to draw the line.
Why is that?
Here are a few reasons:
1. The reminder that victims still aren’t believed…unless there’s video evidence (and sometimes not even then)
You might remember when news first broke that Cassie had filed a civil suit and it was settled almost immediately. This was followed by a familiar chorus of: “See! She just wanted money!” This only subsided (somewhat) when a video was released of Sean Combs brutally physically assaulting her in a hotel hallway. And, even then, the equally familiar questions popped up: “Why didn’t she fight back? Why didn’t she go to the police? What happened ahead of that interaction that could have led him to react that way?”
The fact that even video evidence of indisputable physical violence still leads to minimization and victim-blaming can be incredibly demoralizing for survivors.
2. Being bombarded with graphic & disturbing details
Our society is absolutely obsessed with turning deeply personal and traumatic experiences into salacious headlines. And, when it comes to the Diddy trial, there has not been a shortage of graphic and disturbing details to share. For many survivors, this has highlighted the need to create distance for self-preservation.
3. Realizing that even the ‘best case scenario’ is a pretty HORRIBLE scenario.
The truth is that most survivors will never see the inside of a courtroom…whether or not they would want to. Seeing a high profile serial perpetrator who just might face some kind of accountability can remind some survivors that that’s an outcome they will (likely) never get. Yet it’s a simultaneous and stark reminder that, in order to have even a chance at justice within the legal system, survivors are required to relive their trauma in public and endure often relentless cross-examination by the attorneys representing the person who harmed them…while others sit back and watch.
4. Hurting with and for Cassie
Most survivors can’t relate to many aspects of Cassie’s story. But while the details of this specific case is unique, the humiliation, violation, dehumanization, and loss of power inherently present in every incident of sexual violence are things nearly every survivor can feel in their soul. So, while Cassie is not every survivor – at some moment in time – we have all been her.
Truth be told, there are probably countless reasons why survivors are passing on (or closely following) this trial. And each one is valid.
With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, we encourage you to prioritize your mental health…however that looks for you.
And, regardless of the disturbing details, the headlines, or even the eventual verdict, we continue to stand in strong support of Cassie and all survivors.
We don’t have to watch your abuse to believe you. You did not deserve what they did to you. And we are here to support you…whether or not you report.
Want some tips for coping with the overwhelming news cycle?
Check out our post:
Feel overwhelmed and need support?
Reach out to our friends at the Crisis Text Line.