Jess Michaels: A Call to Break the Cycle of Silence
This blog post discusses sexual assault and may be triggering to some.
You know those terrifying nightmares where you feel like you can't move? You're screaming in your head but nothing comes out? That’s what it felt like when I was being raped at 22 years old by Jeffrey Epstein.
In 1991, rape was defined by how much you resisted your assailant. When Jeffrey Epstein raped me, I froze. I believed it was my fault because I didn’t fight or flee.
Before my assault, I had a thriving career as a model, dancer, actress, and singer, undaunted by any limitations.
Within three months after the assault, I was overcome with intense anxiety, fears and severe insomnia. Within six months I could pull a size zero jeans down off of my hips without unbuttoning them because I struggled to process food in direct proportion to my inability to emotionally and mentally process the humiliation and violation of my body. My emotional turmoil derailed my performing career, forcing me to leave New York City.
In 1991, I thought my story was uniquely horrific. My roommate, who had unwittingly led me into Epstein's web, was someone I had trusted. When that trust shattered, I was steeped in self-blame and shame.
But it’s not 1991 anymore.
In 2023, we understand that freezing or going numb are common trauma responses to sexual assault. Our primitive brain activates defense responses involuntarily and automatically without our logical input. Like a hand withdrawing from a hot stove, our body has defense systems to protect us. Freezing during an assault is not consent.
We now know that sexual harm can cause long-lasting emotional and physiological injuries like PTSD. Ignoring, disbelieving, or denying these injuries can lead to severe long-term effects. Psychological wounds, like physical ones, need immediate attention and ongoing care or they fester and wreak havoc on our bodies.
In 2023, we now know that individuals who cause sexual harm, like Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Larry Nassar, are typically serial predators. Their actions are not isolated incidents but a lifestyle of exerting control over others.
In fact, I learned from Callisto that a sexual perpetrator assaults an average of six times during four years of college!
Thankfully, it’s 2023. We have greater awareness and deeper knowledge of trauma and choices now.
This is why I wholeheartedly support Callisto’s revolutionary technology for sexual assault survivors. In minutes, a survivor can confidentially learn if someone else has been assaulted by the same person.
Though it was powerfully life changing and healing for me to learn there were others assaulted by Jeffrey Epstein - it took 27 years!
You don’t need to wait that long anymore.
If you have a .edu email address - whether you're a student, educator, staff, or admin - your life and healing can change in just a few minutes. Go to Callisto Vault and enter into their matching system. Find out if the person who assaulted you is a serial sexual perpetrator. This knowledge can be life-altering, offering hope and a path towards healing.
It’s not 1991 anymore. It’s 2023.
We’re coming for you, serial predators.
And we are no longer alone.
About Jess Michaels
Jess Michaels is a 1991 rape survivor of Jeffrey Epstein who leverages her life experience and professional skills as an educator and entrepreneur to invite us to consider a solution to sexual violence beyond just prevention.
Jess Michaels is the founder of 3Js SAFR - sexual assault first aid - so we all know what to do when someone says #metoo. www.JessMichaelsSpeaks.com.
Are you a survivor of campus sexual assault? Register for a Callisto Vault today.